30 Overconfident Cats Who Are Totally Convinced That They’re Really Humans

It’s tough to explain to our pets why we get to enjoy a steak and mashed potatoes and they’re stuck with dry kibbles. After all, to them, they’re just as much a part of the family as we are.

Now it seems that our cats are starting to show that they’re not going to take it. In fact, these furry guys have just about had it with being treated like animals. They’re ready to be humans, thank you very much!

And maybe—just maybe—they are. At least, after taking a look at these cats who think they’re human, it’s hard to dispute the evidence…

1. “I said left, Rachel! Left! For the love of all that is holy, are you trying to get us both killed? I mean, come on, if you’re going to put a cat in the driver’s seat with you, at least listen to him a little.”

2. “‘Clean the house,’ she says. ‘Your hair is everywhere,’ she says. Well, fine, I’ll clean it up already if she’ll just stop nagging me! Well, will you look at that… my hair really is everywhere!”

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3. “Shhhh, let Grandpa sleep, kids. He’s had a very difficult day, uh, being a cat. You know… eating, sleeping, walking over keyboards, sleeping, using the litter box, knocking things over, sleeping.”

4. “Aww, come on, Mom, no chocolate chips? Make it again! I don’t care how hard you say you’ve worked, or how much it’s a ‘waste of food.’ Non-chocolate-chip pancakes simply won’t do!”

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5. “It says you need two eggs, Morgan. It couldn’t be more clear. If you’re going to cook in my kitchen, could you at least pretend to be taking it seriously? Come on, this isn’t fast food!”

6. “Aliens, man! I’m telling you, the government is putting chemicals in the water to mess with our minds, man. It’s all because the aliens don’t want us to know about the lizard people, man!”

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7. “Time to take the training wheels off, Jim. This cat’s ready to ride. Aw yeah, this bike ride is going to be dope. We’ll ride to the beach, maybe catch some waves, and afterwards we’ll eat so much fish.”

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8. “You know, old Keyboard Cat has no class. He just doesn’t get it. A real cool cat knows that jazz isn’t just about the notes you play, it’s just as much about the notes that you don’t play. Me-yowww!”

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9. “I swear I just bought sugar. Honey, have you seen the sugar? …Yes, I have looked on the top shelf. Why do you always think I haven’t looked there? Well, it’s not there. We’ll have to ask the neighbors for some.”

10. “Oh, see, your problem is you have a gigacode in your floppybyte. I’ll try rebooting it. We are compukittens, after all, so obviously we know everything there is to know about electronics.”

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11. “Hello, friend, would you care for a spot of tea? I made it myself from fresh kibbles and bits, milk, and tuna. Oh, I see… you’re allergic. Okay, well why don’t you just join me and sit for a while?”

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12. “The numbers just don’t add up. That wretched mysterious red dot should have been right in my paws. I’ll have to rethink my calculations. Let’s see… if I carry the three and multiply it by 12,000…”

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13. “How many cats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The answer is one, Jerry. I don’t see why you asked all of us to help you when I could just as easily do it all by myself. Do you not trust me?”

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14. “I like games, too. This one is a bit too casual for my tastes, though. Have you played that new Super Mario game? Apparently you could play as a dinosaur in that one. Sounds cool, but I’m waiting for the price to drop.”

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15. “Oh no… no no no no no! Quick, Frank, I need you to grab a new roll of toilet paper! Yes, I know I should have found another one sooner, but now’s just not the time to get on my case about it, alright?”

16. “I remember when I had dreams. Now I’m just another suit. Cherish your youth, son. One day, you’re taking a steady desk job because it pays well and has good benefits, and then you get married and have kittens…”

17. “I got it! I got… oof! Wait, remind me why humans play this stupid game again? You’re telling me that they throw condensed balls of snow at each other and it’s supposed to be… fun?”

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18. “Hello, this is Time Warner Cable customer service. How may I direct your call? I see… your human won’t let you play with his phone? Alright, I’m going to put you on hold, one moment please.”

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19. “I know I shouldn’t… but I just can’t help myself! This popcorn is so good, you guys. Don’t you want to try some? Oh, I get it… just because I shoved my face in it, suddenly it’s not good enough for you?”

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20. “Everybody has a hobby, Rick. This is mine. Who are you to judge? It’s the 21st century, and it’s perfectly normal for a cat to do his own knitting. Come on, stop being such a dinosaur.”

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21. “Huh, I never noticed that double chin before. I guess I might have to start working out a bit more. Heh, just look at me, using an iPad like a mirror… I’m a real 21st-century kitty cat!”

22. “Bring me the chancellor of Purrmany. I must speak to him about these new trade deals. Oh, and could you set up a meeting with the prime minister of Pawngolia, please? We have much to discuss.”

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23. “Come on, just three more until our vacation. You can do this, Whiskers. Sure, you’re on thin ice with your boss and the twins need braces, but you’ve got to do this… if not for yourself, than for them!”

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24. “I regret nothing. Life is but a series of fleeting opportunities to gorge yourself on Halloween candy and I will not let them pass me by! What’s that? Well, yes, this is the neighbors’ kid’s candy, but I don’t see how that’s relevant, Susan.”

25. “Hey, hit the lights, will ya? I’m trying to catch some Zs before the big meeting tomorrow. Me and old Mr. Whiskers from down the street have a big new fish initiative that we’re launching.”

26. “Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is… pizza. Oh, and for crying out loud, could you please just clean the darn litter-box, Walter? It’s really starting to get disgusting.”

27. “Hmm, interesting. According to my calculations, the dog has to go. I’m sorry, Harold. I know you love Professor Paws, but the mathematics just don’t lie. I know this must be difficult for you.”

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28. “I’m telling you, Jerry, I am just so ready for summer break. It’s going to be super nice not to have dumb old Mrs. Miller breathing down my neck just because I haven’t done my homework, you know?”

29. “Run the ball for the love of God! Come on! You’re on the two-yard line! What the heck do they even pay you guys for? Millions of dollars a year just for these stupid, game-losing decisions?”

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30. “Hey, professor? Yeah, I was just wondering, will this be on the exam? Right… yes, of course I’ve been listening to your entire lecture, I just want to be sure that I’m taking the correct notes…”

Doing human things may not transform these kitties into Homo sapiens, but they’d like to think it will. You have to admit they’re pretty darn convincing!

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